1.)The Hair: Some say it is his trademark others say its just fucked up and I would be in the middle. It looks like Mel has not cut his hair in say about 10 years, maybe it just keeps folding in on itself. Mel get a fucking damn Hair cut its really not the 80’s anymore.

Courtesy of Kissing Suzy Kolber

2.)The Jr. part in his name: Honestly what is the point of including this part of his name when hes announced to people. Are ESPN viewers going to say “Oh man Is that Mel Kiper Sr. Or Jr., Man I don’t know.” If there really is a Mel Kiper Sr. on ESPN, I would be surprised not because of the similarity but because he hasn’t quit in shame from his last name.

3.)His Stubbornness: I have not seen his “Big Board” much the last few months maybe even more like 6 to 8 months. And I’m not really surprised by this because like I said hes stubborn. Really McFadden followed by Glen Dorsey at the top still, what are you in September Mel?

4.)He has a very loud mouth: I think they might actually have a shout feature on Mel Kipers microphone, much like the crowd sound blocker for the headsets for NFL Coaches its primarily the same for Mel except it must block sound in higher amounts. In the 6th round you DO NOT need to shout about an offensive lineman getting picked.

5.)Honestly what does this guy do?: Does he just watch video of college games and certain players and go to pro days/combines and just report back on ESPN.com and ESPN? If so boy would I love to have that job, At least Chris Mortensen and John Clayton try to figure out breaking news, Kiper just basically reports whats already known.

Courtesy of The Sports Hernia

6.)There are far better talent evaluators: Usually those talent evaluators are people who either run websites or just write about it in a magazine or newspaper. For example Scott Wright of NFL Draft Countdown, He usually updates his draft page once ever day and he is usually right but he gets paid way less than Kiper. Maybe we could see how Kiper would do on the web and Wright on the TV, in the battle of the NFL Draft Experts!

7.)I’ve seen computers have better mock drafts: Theres a site called Draft Tek that uses a computer model to predict the Draft and is does 7 rounds of it. More than kiper will ever do, that could take him more than one day *shocked*. Currently the Draft Tek Mock draft is different from Kipers newest one. We’ll see draft day who is superior!

8.)Hes a Douche: Well he doesn’t act that way all the time but generally he puts off the vibe like Yeah! I’m from Long Island and I’m a douche. But with all the criticisms of players that were false will come back to bite him on the ass and reprehend him for his douchiness (did i create a word?).

9.)Mike Mayock Vs. Mel Kiper: Currently it is a dead heat between who is the worst draft scout and really its kind of pathetic. One guy is the face of NFL Network, the other the Face of ESPN. And thats not saying much about either channel and their draft coverage. Mayock is an up and comer, I heard about him last year and he is certainly in competition with Kiper for the worst. He think McFadden will drop to the 20’s or 30’s and that his counterpart Felix Jones will go ahead of him. Thats horrible and its really horrible somebody would be compared to that.

10.)He ♥’s certain players: In this years draft it is Aqib Talib, In the 1999 draft it was Akili Smith and look how that worked out. He needs to start looking at what other people do so hes not left behind on new decisions that are being made because he is extremely uninformed.

The title says it all, you know the person you talk to online who does this. They shorten words by one letter and use shorter versions of words like b/c and ic. Well I am a Team Forum manager at a sports forum and there is one person in paticular who does it and he does it on primarily a regular basis. Heres a rough sample of what he writes.

sigh…

Thank god hes not on much anymore, or I would have to shoot myself eventually. He’s supposedly working on an airplane training manual. That thing must be ridden with typos/crap words. I don’t think I would even want to be on a plane flown by him, I would be scared his IQ level isn’t high enough to control all the buttons on the plane. But when you are typing try writing something legible or atleast the full word. Saying something like “ic” or “b/c” all the damn time. Maybe you could stop being such a lazy asshole and work to try and better your grammar. I admit I make mistakes sometimes on AIM and forums but I try my best to correct it (Well not when I’m drunk but whatever). But these people never do, Usually their replies are met with “what!?!?” or “What the fuck did you just say?”. Really its kind of sad the grammar of these people and sadly some of them like above are older than me.

Well now that we’ve gotten past what people do with their spelling and shit, it is now time to find solutions

• Get Firefox, It has a god to most of you and that is Spell Check! Maybe next time you spell a word wrong, it will call you a dumbass
• For AIM, Take your damn time and submit one line at a time. Maybe get a dictionary or some shit, We don’t want your fucking horrible grammar.
• Last resort, Go to a type writer and force yourself to write an essay. Oh yes that will show you the bitch of misspelling and whiteout.
• If all else fails. Killing yourself is a pretty good idea

Really if you struggle from grammar deficiency problems (Sounds technical, Probably a type of pill for that) get a fucking life and try and write something in word. Really right now, I am writing this in a notebook which has calculus problems and physics problems and I am spelling 95% of my words correctly (No I don’t have a special machine that transfers writing from paper to wordpress. I actually just retype it. Shocked? I know…). Maybe I am just elite at spelling and own everybody at it but if you can’t spell the word “fantastic” right you should go on the short bus immediately. I have actually seen that before on a paper and boy am I surprised that person is going to college. If you are so deficient you should go either read a dictionary or go on and make yourself look like a retard, your choice.

When you see a fat chick walking by you wearing a really tight shirt, really what do you think? I think horrible visions that I don’t even want to think of. But yet we still have to live through the disgust of watching the fat rolls of chicks clobbering over the side of their pants and usually makes most people want to throw up what they just ate. Really even worse is when you see a thing, and that is when I want to shoot myself because of emotional disturbance from what I had just seen. Just seeing that fat, well yeah just uhhh… yeah its not pleasant next sentence please. In average sized to skinny girls, yes those clothes are fine, but if it is extremely too tight you can just exclaim them whores so really its a two way street there. When you usually see the fat chick you know its going to be really bad. Happens alot of the time from my experience. It all started in 9th grade but I really don’t want to relive that.

Pretty much my motto

If you are going to wear revealing clothes you must have to be NOT Obese, No Rolls, You actually look pretty good. Really if you don’t look good in a shirt, just go throw it in a fire because nobody wants to see you in it. You either look like shit with that shirt on or look halfway decent with another shirt on. I suggest non tight clothes like those maternity shirts. Really I won’t have to deal with those rolls and you’ll be congratulated on being pregnant so it works out. At least you won’t be made fun of for your fat rolls and/or other disgusting things because I know I have. We all know about self esteem but stop being such a pussy and take the criticism if you are going to wear shit like that. I’ve taken criticism all through out my life for various things and have I bitched or complained about it? Sometimes but not all the time, usually when it is very informative. Some of the info is for the greater good so stop being a fat little whiney bitch about it and deal with it.

Ed. Note: Errr I’m kind of scared that most of the people who come to this site search fat chicks.

You know something that really grinds my gears, No I’m not Peter Griffin but one of those things is people who turn up their music incredibly loud. Are you deaf? Well if you are I’m sure hearing *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* sure will alert to you whether or not a deaf person is around. But really are these people actually trying to get attention? Cars are devices that are used to transport you from place to place, not places to blast the shit you are listening to, to be cool. Its alright when people have it on and can’t hear it much but when you hear “SOULJA BOY UP IN THIS OHHHHH….”. I kind of giggle (What else word was i supposed to use?) because really Soulja Boy cranked up, Oh man you must be the coolest person on the whole block and deserve a medal.

Why!?!?

I usually walk from my school, So I get to usually enjoy this on a fairly somewhat regular basis.  Usually when I see the person they are usually white, sometimes wiggers, wear baseball hats, probably douchebags. Now thats not everybody, just a common run down of who it usually is. There are some good kids out there that blast their music, but honestly shut that shit up if you are ever near me. Unless it is an extremely good son, I am all down with that. If I see a band of friends who are not douche bags, I know they are just having some fun. Which I know has happened with me, My friends and a little techno music one night.

So my run down as to when loud music is allowed

• Douche bags get no speakers
• Friends playing songs loud is fine
• 12 AM and beyond equals no loud zone
• If rap turn that shit down it is crap
• If you are around me and I hear it, I hope you go to hell

Well pretty harsh but I never found the need for extra speakers and amps. So I guess I’m not the type of person that get loud music. But if you have your music turned up to look cool, please refrain from being a douche bag and turn your radio down and put your seat in an upright position.

If its one thing I really hate its people who bandwagon with either and opinion or a team either way it is as bad as cheating is to a teacher (Corny but gets the point through?). I am a forum manager on a big sports forum and I see this all the time. Thank god it changed a little and people are actually making up their opinions in who the Dolphins should draft but it still happens and pisses me off. Its like a sausage fest but with opinions, but other than just those of which opinions on forums are those in real life which people do to keep them cooler. My dad is the prime example of this he will agree with what any of his friends say but even when its wrong and I try to correct him and still defies it. You all know people like this, it even happens in school sometimes.

Just if you believed for 3 more series’s…

 I wish people would just make up their own mind and didn’t rely on other people to make their own decisions. Along with this point is people who rely on their friends for every decision, I have one who relies on another friend all the time. I mean his music choices are made by the other friend, his haircut style, and even his date to his prom. Seriously the kid was setup with a date to prom by his friend. Yes theirs a difference between being good friends and being too involved and thats one case.

This does happen in sports too like the Golden State Warriors pictured above and I’ve never been a fan of those. I’ve had to stick with horrible teams the past few years with some success intertwined Notre Dame Football, Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Florida Marlins. Really thats horrible, I mean Heat suck, Marlins suck, and Heat suck right now. The judge is still out on Notre Dame but most likely they suck. But did I switch teams, no. People need to find in their own self view of what they need to do and do it not ask other people (Only in tough situations ask for help.). Shit now I sound kind of like Dr. Phil, Well honestly if I ever see somebody just agreeing with somebody because they are trying to be cool I would smack the hell out of them. Too bad I can’t do it to my dad…

Posts will be on and off during the weeks, All depends on if I have the time or I’m just not pissed enough and in a good mood or I just don’t feel like writing which happens on occasion. Really at this moment it has taken me atleast 10 to 20 minutes to write this even though it is 2 sentences. Well don’t expect a blog everyday but, I will be there for amusement and pleasure on weekends or sometimes during the week. Now I leave you with the below random image from my photobucket account.

Honestly what is the point of this shit, why would you need a laptop that is that fucking small and so fucking much? I guess if you’re a trendy dumb ass retard who wants a laptop who can fit into a Manila Envelope!!! You sir are the one who is going to buy a Macbook air for about 1800 bucks, you fucking retard. Honestly it doesn’t even come with a CD/DVD rom drive you have to get a separate input just to read the CD’s. And you can only use it if you have a wireless connection because guess what you can’t have an Ethernet connection because there is none. I mean really do you care about a notebook that is so thin, I mean even some regular laptops that are trying to copy mac are retarded, people get computers to use not to make a statement. Unlike me, Charlie Rose was trying to make a statement and look what he ended up with.

Viewers of the Charlie Rose show tonight were stunned to see the normally composed Rose looking like he’d just been in a bar fight. He has a very bad black eye and a bandage over part of his forehead. I contacted the show’s producers to hear what happened. Earlier today, they said, Rose tripped in a pothole while walking on 59th Street in Manhattan. He was carrying a newly purchased MacBook Air and made a quick (but ultimately flawed) decision while falling: sacrifice the face, protect the computer. “In doing so, he pretty much hit the pavement face first, unfortunately,” they said.

http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/03/17/charlie-rose-face-plants-to-save-his-macbook-air/

Really if you would rather sacrifice your own body for a meaningless piece of metal and plastic their is something wrong with your head and you should be taken off to a mental ward. Nobody should sacrifice their life (yes stretching a little bit here) for a fucking computer, but I guess some of World of Warcraft people would sacrifice their life for the computer. Along with just the computer, I want to fucking kill the girl who sings the song for the commercial. I believe Yael Naim or whatever, all i hear lalalala strange world lalalala. And thats it, get a better song next time appple might do you better. Maybe get Guns ‘N Roses, because like in “Welcome to the Jungle”, “Its going to bring you doooowwwwnnnnn.”. So if you like a computer with one USB port, No CD Drive, No Ethernet plug and No Removable Battery, be my guest and by one. But I will fucking kill you if I see you have one.

Get it right people the correct pronunciation of the carbonated beverage that is flavored is called “Soda” not “Pop”. I’ve never understood why people say it because pop is used in phrases such as “Pop goes the weasel” or “I’ll pop a cap in your ass” not “For a drink I would like pop.” No that doesn’t sound right at all. Thats why there is an all in one word for it and the name is soda. You can’t make a phrase out of it unless you’re talking about baking soda or something with sodium in it, all you can say is “Yes, I’d like a soda.”. Simple as that, If you say pop and I’m anywhere near you I will disown you.

I hate you southern and Midwestern people

Now, I don’t mean to be harsh but if you call soda, coke. You are just plain retarded, even worse than those who say pop. Really you use a brand name for the name of a product thats like me calling root beer barks. Does that happen no, because I am smart and call everything just soda. If you want to have a coke what the hell do you say then.

“Yeah, I’d like a coke.”

“What Kind?”

“A coke”

“What Kind!??!”

“I said a fucking coke!”

“…”

If you want a damn coke, It would be a Coca-Cola. Not just a generic word for soda products. It just means that you are a lazy bastard who doesn’t learn words by the name of things but the brand name of things. If only it were easy to put down people who say pop. But I guess people will do what they want although it makes absolutely no sense. If they had any brain they would call it Soda.

Spoiler: Soda Wins

Honestly how did this bitch get so huge really… What does she bring to the table that other people before them didn’t. Whatever happened to the good days of cartoon channels when there was Doug, Rugrats and Hey Arnold! Now those were the days, now today its just pure crap and I really don’t understand why it is so huge. Maybe theirs some mind washing device that Disney used because damn its working out good i mean somebody was going to hijack the damn plane of Hannah Montana. And One girl sent in a fake letter to win Hannah Montana tickets. How are these shows selling out, I mean I understand kids need something to do but pay 500 bucks for this crap show. I’d rather go through a wood splitter than listen to somebody in a wig lip sync for 2 hours.

We need to get something to take this revolution out, possibly a death fight to the end between all teen stars. I would like that honestly because for the most part it would be sissy fights, even some of the guys who are teens are pussies. I bet the black kid with curly hair would win just because the jerry curls make him awesome. Maybe just get a whole bunch of people and take the Disney studios hostage, it’d work but it’d make them sympathetic towards them.

From just typing that, I have noticed that there is no way to take down the Disney empire. They are like the Standard Oil Company of Kids TV. Well eventually Standard Oil did go out and wasn’t a monopoly anymore but still they have a sweet building in Rockefeller Center. Well the last 2 paragraphs have just made me go off topic so back to why that bitch is so popular. I really don’t understand why people find here so hot, really buck teeth and a weirdly shaped body. Maybe wait a little while till shes actually grown up, we might have to get pedobear on you.

One Lover of Hannah Montana

Just if these kids would see how much of a waste of time this is, I bet she’ll be on cocaine in a couple of years and then a couple shots of here nude will come out a few years after. As if their aren’t enough people trying to look for nude pictures of her now. Its kind of creepy that there are people who are 25+ that follow her, they probably have no life but who knows they could have a life. All is strange in the world now including this.

I may be the only one who notices this but this really gets on my nerve, The way women shoot the ball in basketball. I don’t mean like everyday but in professional basketball. Do you really only need to use one arm and construe your other arm to hold on to the ball all the way to your chest. and launch it pretty much parallel to where your hands were originally. Heres a video of the comparison between the two, although she wins its pretty much the style I hate.